Surgery Date Change

We got the news yesterday that August 16th will NOT be Oliver's surgery date. They are now working on scheduling him for August 23rd. I know that both of his doctors will be out of town in early September. Therefore, we are praying he won't be bumped to mid-late September. 

As we wait, Oliver continues to have multiple seizures a day. It is hard to watch (day after day) as the seizures temporarily rob him of his energy, language and gross motor skills. 

So that is where we are right now. Waiting. Again. 

I find waiting to be one of life's most uncomfortable circumstances. It just rubs me the wrong way. Yesterday, when I found out about the 16th, I had an all-out temper tantrum in my head. It was not pretty. If my frontal lobe could, it would have thrown itself on the floor, kicked and screamed for a good 3-5 minutes. I suppose if that had actually happened I would be on “Discovery Health” or the “Today” show, but I digress. 

After my little tantrum I thought “surely, the Lord has a lesson here.” So I prayed something like...“Lord, I do trust you. I know your time is best. I've seen that over and over in Oliver's life. You can see things I can't. You understand how the intricate web of life works. You know the secret things that can't yet be revealed. Rescue me from this anxiety, this worry, this fretting over a date! Let me learn whatever lesson is in this waiting place.” 

While I was rolling these thoughts around in my brain, this verse came to mind:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

This verse gives the answer to why I was struggling:

1st reason: I was not even remotely focused on thanksgiving. When it comes to surgery planning I had neglected this key element in my prayers and thought life. Honestly, I hadn't even considered it. When I started to pray with thanksgiving, it immediately transformed my state of mimd. The gratitude tumbled out. How could I not see? How many parents of sick kids get to take their children to a world-class medical program specifically created for their child's special needs? How many people have health insurance? What about the ability to buy plane tickets to fly their child all over tarnation to get the help they need? This list goes on and on...

As I thought about all this, God brought to mind that date again (August 16th). 

So I thought instead of complaining about not getting the 16th, why don't I pray for the kid who is in that surgery slot? (Obviously God led me to that thought, it wouldn't be my natural reaction to do such a thing). Now all this was starting to make sense. I prayed that that little boy or girl has the best possible outcome. That Dr. Duhaime would be at the top of her game for that child's surgery. That the cutting-edge equipment that Oliver would also benefit from would work perfectly on the 16th. The family would experience relief and joy. The child would be healed. 

2nd reason: Every time we have been scheduled to go to Boston, I feel crazy until we get a date. I couldn’t put it into words until now. Here's the key---I struggle with these situations because I love concrete things. A “confirmed” date is concrete. I love that. I really, really like when I know what to expect.  In light of my love of the concrete, I understand why I continue to find Tuberous Sclerosis so unsettling. It is one of the least predictable medical conditions on the face of the earth. 

As you can tell, I have a long way to go in learning flexibility, and more importantly, contentment. If you don't mind, when you pray next time, would you mention these two things?

1- The child who is having surgery on August 16th? For healing and hope. 

2- My heart would overflow with thanksgiving while I wait this concrete-date -thing out? 

Thanks friends, y'all are so dear to me!