From the first time I met you, I was amazed by your maturity. Even at 18 you were wise beyond your years. I can see you in full “skit character gear” for a Young Life club, including roller skates and your thin legs in hot pink lycra tights. You were funny, you were silly, and you had an awesome name. Our friendship grew as you babysat Oliver and came to our home. I asked you to join me on a trip to Boston for Oliver’s medical care. It was your first plane ride, your first big city, and your first solo taxi ride. You rocked that trip. You were a steady help and a constant encourager. You saw the inside our world of having a medically fragile child, a world we don’t share with many people. ”Double Steph” took on Boston, and together and we came home with an enduring friendship.
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| Boston Trip |
Fast forward to today and you have lived with us twice now. We’ve been able to share in your oatmeal obsession and dry cereal eating habits. We’ve watched you sit at our table early in the morning reading the Bible and balancing your checkbook by hand. You are old school like that. We’ve seen your servant’s heart in preparing meals for us and cleaning our house. We’ve LOVED watching you turn into a stellar teacher, spending your life pouring into the lives of Wilmington's most under-served children. You are doing work that matters, and it is inspiring. You have a beautiful, tender heart. I hope you always remember that He rejoices over you with singing, today and always. You are His beloved daughter. Your beauty and generosity are gifts from Him...use them well.
When I set you up with Jens I had no expectation of marriage. I thought he was a handsome Marine who attended church each week, and had a bible that looked like it had been read. I heard he flew helicopters, which seemed pretty awesome. I figured that was a good start. When he took you on the sunset plane ride on date three, I knew you’d marry him (and I think you did too!). God has given you two a beautiful love story, and it is just the beginning. The impact that you two will have on the world is something I can’t wait to witness.
So here is my advice/challenge for you on your marriage day:
Use your home to bless other people. Use the gift (that you both have) of hospitality to be a soft landing place for those you know. Have college kids over, invite military families, and linger over dinner with friends. It doesn’t have to be perfect; in fact, perfect makes other people nervous. Your home is not a status symbol or a thing to be shown off. It is a tool God has given you to bless others. When you are about to host someone, be thinking, “How can I bless them? How can I encourage them?” Let your posture be one of service, not trying to impress. Since you can be a perfectionist, this will be hard. Remember that “comparison is the thief of joy”. Your things (one of which is your home) are a tool that can be of eternal value. Hold all those things loosely and use them with intention.
Marriage is the repeated exercise of forgiveness. The stakes are high, because you’ve made a commitment forever. Do not let areas of hurt and anger fester...creating bitterness. Bitterness is an aggressive vine that can suffocate things that were once beautiful. When you are having trouble forgiving, the cross is always the answer. Look at how much you have been forgiven and how much you have fallen short, and it will soften your heart. The cross is the ultimate perspective giving place. Return to it as many times as it takes. In fact, the cross is the answer to virtually anything.
Finally, we are going to miss you so much. Your presence in our home has been such a life giving, joyful experience. We’ve loved watching our dining room become your shipping station for wedding gifts. It has blessed me more than you can know. We are so excited for the love and adventure that is ahead of you. Anywhere you go, you know you always have a home wherever we are. You are family. We’ll always love you, admire you, and cheer for you. Most of all, we promise to keep pointing you to Jesus, who is the true manifestation of love.
Happy Wedding Day,
Steph, Andrew & Ollie
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