Friday, June 12, 2015

55 Lights, Reflections on Leadership North Carolina


Fall in North Carolina


It is an October afternoon, a Pumpkin Spice Latte is in my cupholder and a 90 lb pumpkin on the floor of the backseat of my minivan. I have just visited my dad and grandparents in Concord, NC, the land of rocking chairs on front porches and rusty tractors in backyards. I am on my way to Boone, NC for the Orientation Session of Leadership North Carolina. I  still can’t believe they let me in.



The colors are just beginning to turn across the mountains and my face widens with a smile as leaves fall all around my car...autumn’s version of confetti. As I pull into the hotel parking lot I hear my suitcase collide into the pumpkin on my floorboard. When the door slides open I have to laugh at the juxtaposition of the giant pumpkin and a suitcase stuffed with business suits and leopard print heels.


I arrive at the hotel early; classic Type-A behavior.



When it is time to go to the first session, I grab my blazer, brush my teeth and head out the door. I see another person in the parking lot that looks similarly anxious and overdressed for Boone, NC. She is in a teal blazer, beautiful long brown hair falling over her shoulders and a smile that could light up a room. I like her and I haven’t even met her. I decide to roll down my window and ask if she is part of the program.  She answers back cheerfully, “Yes, I’m Alison DeCinti.” I ask if she wants to hop into the minivan and ride with me. Little did I know I had just met a friend for life.


We get lost finding the parking deck on the campus of Appalachian State University. We have multiple GPS apps open at the same time and can’t stop laughing at how many times we’ve missed the imposing structure that was right in front of us. It is the first of many times we will get lost looking for a parking deck on a college campus.



We get out, follow the LNC signs and find our meeting space. The room is large, the carpet is patterned and the windows go from the floor to the ceiling. There is a circle full of chairs. One for each of the 55 class members. As my classmates come into the room I immediately begin assessing them even though I’m trying not to do it. I wonder who will become a close friend, who will be the leader among the leaders, who is going to make me laugh? Alison and I choose to sit beside each other, thankful to have found a friend so fast. It feels like the first day of summer camp, but with much older campers in suits.



As I shift in my seat, I notice a woman across the room named Kim. She walks in with a huge smile that radiates instant warmth and confidence. She has beautiful blue eyes, luminous with kindness. I couldn’t have known from that first meeting, that we would soon be sharing deeply personal conversations about loss and hope.


What happens next at Orientation is a Leadership NC secret, but let’s just say that it is an unforgettable experience.



As the first session unfolds I begin to see that this journey will be more than I expected. The combined intellect, warmth, accomplishments and passion in this room are mind boggling. I feel unworthy of the company I am keeping, but decide to savor this experience. I know this is lightning in a bottle.


Light attracts light




Spring 2015

It is a May evening in Raleigh, NC. We’ve left the Old House Chamber and our cars are holding giant framed diplomas from our Graduation Ceremony. We’ve all fought the traffic to drive to Chapel Hill and celebrate at The Crunkleton. The bow-tie wearing bartenders are busy mixing drinks and the sound of vigorous cocktail-shaking fills the air. The breeze is coming through the wide open windows and some of my favorite people in the world are gathered around in huge leather chairs. Over the sound of the drink making is the voice and piano playing of our “Most Talented” class member, John.



There are at least twenty of us in a circle once again, but this time there is no anxiety, only affection for one another. We joke about the “LNC lovefest”, but sitting in that room, that night it was a perceptible thing. We don’t just respect each other, we have grown to love each other on a very personal level. The 12 nights and 17  days that we’ve spent together over the past 8 months have created life long relationships. The sheer volume of time spent together fostered chances to be real and vulnerable with one another.



Pam, a class member famous to us for her clogging, walks over to John and requests “Rocky Top.” Of course he plays it and we’re all smiling because we get to see one more performance from Pam. In this group of leaders there are all kinds of unexpected talents...discovering them is not only fun, but inspiring. These 55, they live life to the fullest.



Somewhere between “Rocky Top” and a strong cocktail, Kim leans over and asks, “What was your favorite part of LNC?” I sit quietly, unsure of how to put it into words. I need more time to process this experience.




So Kim, I finally have your answer:
I gained 54 new friends in 8 months. Friends that evoke peerlessness. Men and women who are game changers in their fields of expertise, deeply committed to the success of our state, passionate about issues that have shaped their lives. I have come to know a  rare collection of individuals who see problems and then tackle them with intensity and tenacity until they are completed with excellence. They are people who create momentum.



What happens when lights get together? They gain strength from each other. When one is weak it simply gets near another light and not only gains its strength back, but burns so much brighter.




That was my favorite part. Becoming friends with these 54 lights, unafraid to stand in the darkest places, not for their own personal recognition, but for the betterment of all.


As we, Class XXII, move forward, my hope is that we’ll keep fanning into flame the light we see in one another. Shine brightly my friends, because you were made for this and our great state needs your light.




“Whatever you are physically...male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy--all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside.”


Photo Credits: The Indie Image/Rebecca Mills










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