Hope

I wish I had more time to elaborate but, my little toddler tyrrant is shrieking! Oliver started having seizures again yesterday. He had 5. Today he has had a few already. This is the usual pattern- a week or so seizure free-then they come back. Sad.

His behavior since Thursday or so has been borderline unmanageable. He goes from being sedate, to violent outbursts, to giggling. All who have seen it are troubled- that includes the physical therapist, occupational therapist, a school psychologist (my sister-in-law), the family, the preschool teachers. It is bizarre. I even took him to the pediatrician yesterday to rule out some type of extreme pain. The pediatrician found nothing but, did get to see his crazy behavior. It has been very intense!

I spoke to Dr. Mikati yestreday and we are going down on the Topamax. Topamax doesn't usually cause these side effects but, who knows. Oliver is on so many meds we don't know what to think. So far, since the decrease last night, no a significant change in the behavior...

We are so tired of being in crisis mode. It is utterly exhausting! We are desiring to know which pond we are in--"special needs" or "typically developing." I just want to KNOW what we are doing and I am sure we can handle whatever it is. We're up for the challenge if we could just know what the challenge is. One week he is "normal" the next week he has significantly regressed. Our Occupational Therapists and Speech Therapist are just as confused as we are about his week to week changes. We'd love to get off this roller coaster but, it doesn't seem to want to stop...

Even though it has been really rough- we couldn't have done it without you! Thanks for your continued love and support. You've all helped us carry this burden. Really, if you've said one prayer you've helped! Even this week we had some friends from church come and pray with us at our house. It was an intimate and emotional time. It was truly otherwordly and uplifting in the most tangible way. We are so blessed :)

It is hard to hold onto hope---but, y'all keep hoping and we will too. We know we can do this! The world is full of real people, who despite being discouraged, despite their children having special needs, have not lost hope. Pray we can join their ranks!