Barbie Doll

It's the last night of the conference. I sit beside her at the dinner table. I immediately think
she is a living Barbie Doll.

Jealousy whispers. It begins to coo at me to indulge in competition. Pit myself against her before I have even heard
her
name.

So I slap it down, that sin that so easily entangles. Comparison.

And, for me, comparison always leads to jealousy. Always.

You know why this happens to me? Because I can't compare myself with her without either becoming jealous or hating myself.

It is impossible for me to compare and end up more holy. Which is why my mind is a continual whack-a-mole at this conference.

I pound those comparison thoughts down all day long.

The incessant pull, the desire to make much of myself and little of Him is down-right inflamed at an event that is...for Him.


I think of this CS Lewis quote from The Four Loves...

“For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision with all the rest. That, says an old author is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying “Holy, Holy, Holy” to one another. The more we share the Heavenly Bread between us the more we shall all have.”

I remind myself that my new friend, “sees God in her own way...communicates that unique vision with me.”  She has a piece of God's glory that I can't find anywhere else, ever.

Ever.

Did you get that?

Barbie Doll has something irreplaceable, that if I don't let go of my jealousy I will never be able to experience. What a crying shame to miss this unrivaled gift right in front of my

self absorbed face.






August 13th 
Pray that we won't fall into the trap of comparing Oliver to other children in the hospital. This is a greater temptation than it might seem. Pray we'll be at peace with the race we've been given to run. Trusting that the grace for each day will come like manna from heaven.

August 14th 
Pray that we would be able to reach out to other parents that we come into contact with in the hospital.  We'd love to be emotionally wealthy enough to care for them, even if it's just a hug, a knowing smile.  It is a gift to us when we can do something tangible for someone who is suffering in a similar way.