1 Month

"Hmmm....should I eat this, or not?"

Today is the 1 month mark for the Low Glycemic Index Treatment. Whew. It has been a test, y'all. There have been tears and there have been dreams of fat gram miscalculations. Weird, huh? Never thought I'd wake in a cold sweat about fat grams. If I had known how hard this would be I might have chickened out. But then it is for Oliver so I keep on keeping on. You would do it too, I promise! If you saw those nasty seizures take over your child you'd gladly do this diet or cut off your right arm, whatever made it "better".

The food calculations have gotten a bit easier but, the bottom line is it takes time and diligence. It has become part of the routine of seizure tracking and giving meds. Today, Oliver put something in his mouth and my first thought wasn't "he shouldn't be eating leaves" it was "how many carbs are in that?" That is how warped my mind has become. Good thing he didn't eat the leaf. I don't think that is in the food database.

As far as family meals, I am not ready to wave the white flag yet. The other night, for the first time, (gulp) Andrew and I ate in front of Oliver, something he couldn't have (a frozen pizza). We sat him in his seat, gave him a piece of cheese (his favorite) and tried to have a family meal. He said "please" a few times for the pizza but, was fairly content with his cheese. (He had already had his dinner 1 hour before). Anyway, he said "all done" and got down after 3 or 4 minutes but, it wasn't bad, all things considered. Did I feel "good" about it? Yes and No. Yes, because right now that pizza is bad for him and eating it could really hurt him. Yes, because I know in the long run this might enable us to go out to eat. Yes, because he learns he has to eat different food than the rest of the people at the table. No, because it felt unkind and it complicates my life even more. But, I can't linger on that- long term thinking baby, long-term. Right now is when we lay the foundation for the future, so lets start building. Now, when I pony up the courage for eating at a restaurant I'll let you know.

As for the good parts of the diet. Yes, there are a few. I've learned to cook with some exotic (to me) items I would have never tried before like, coconut oil, quinoa and flaxseed meal. I've greatly enjoyed my once a week cooking sessions with Carrie and Shaunna. Their company and cooking productivity are a highlight of my Tuesdays. I love ending the day with a fridge full of food and my heart refreshed by good friends. I've learned that with the right (semi-lower) expectations, family meals, might still be a possibility.

So, friends, thanks for taking the heavy burden of this diet, TSC, asthma flare-ups, etc. and helping us carry it. You are doing something of eternal value.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

– Matthew 11:28-30